The Good Wife (episode 3)

She had been found at the age of 9. She was in a small rowing-boat floating down the Mouton River. A old fisherman had found the boat with a skinny, dehydrated and completely naked girl inside. No one knew how long she had been on the river or where she had come from. Including Emma. She had no memory before that morning when she was pulled out the boat. The old fisherman then became her grandfather. A man who became her entire world. He taught her everything she needed to know. From how to catch her own food, Skin and cook it, to shoe shopping. They would go out on survival weekends into the woods toogether. It was the best times of her life. Just her, her grandpaps, a tent and a hunting knife. They would then come wondering to town looking like hell, and always full of the greatest stories.


The woman would turn up their noses at her and tell her paps how he was ruining her. He would always tell them, and anyone else who asked, that Emma was no ordinary girl. She came from the land and was as wild as it was. Emma felt pride swell up inside her when ever she thought of those days. Paps never doubted her. So when did she begin. It was probably about the time that Paps finally went to his big lake in the sky. She was 16 by then and was devastated by the loss. No one understood her, but that didn’t matter. One of the lessons Paps taught her, one of the big ones, was that she had to do whatever it took to learn from everyone around her. She had to know how to play a part. “It might save your life one day lass.”



Emma was now wondering if may be she was playing the part too well. She had not been out to the woods in years. She had become too busy. School, work, house, PTA, extra lessons, extra-murals, yoga, exercise classes, cooking, sex…….. But that was changing now. Emma could feel her blood pumping through her veins. The sweat running down her back. She could even hear her neighbours arguing. She had never felt so alert, so connected. Her breathing slowed. Her heart slowed to rhythmic thuds in her chest. That was when she realised that she was not crazy, she never was. She just was not being true to herself. She was more than this house, this street, with its little boxes. Where everyone looks and acts exactly the same. Emma stood up and walked down to the kitchen. Pulling her kitchen step ladder under her pantry, she climbed up and brought down 6 old hat boxes. Each was a different size and colour. She opened the Red Oval one and pulled out a stack of bills. She counted approximately 2000 out and put the rest back. She opened the smaller black square box. She took out the plastic zip-lock baggy. Just as she was putting all the boxes back on the shelf her phone started ringing. It was Stacy, but Emma let it go to voice mail. Emma then walked to the guest bathroom and emptied the contents of the baggy into the toilet. The green leaves swirled round the bowl, seeming to cling to the sides for dear life. She had to flush twice before the last of her weed stash finally gurgled away. “Hope I am not going to regret this.” She had started smoking weed shortly after no longer breastfeeding her youngest. It was an escape from a life which was smothering her. But it was an escape she no longer needed.

Happy Halloween

My dear friend Blain designed this awsome desktop.

He is a genius.

The Good Wife (episode2)

Emma headed back home. The shop only opened at 11 am and she wanted to dress a little less conspicuous. Less like a mother of three who had never held a gun. She had however been doing research. She knew which weapon she wanted. She had chosen based on a few points. It had to be small enough to hide yet would drop a bad guy in one shot. She had even visited the nearby police shooting range. With eyes wide with astonishment, she witnessed female officers handle huge magnums without a flinch. There was something sexual and raw about the experience she never forgot. It was then that she had started working out. She had to strengthen her upper body to be able to handle any weapon with the confidence the female officers had. So 5 days a week, you could find Mrs Emma Engelburg in the weight section of her local gym trying to lift impossible weights. She would catch her own reflection in the huge mirrors and feel her face get red with embarrassment. The sagging middle from 3 pregnancies and flabby arms. She reminded herself of candy floss but on 2 sticks instead of 1. She did surprise herself at how fast she managed to get back into shape. After a while Emma stopped looking in the mirror and concentrated completely on her goal. Slowly the flab went flat and she was able to lift more weights faster. Emma had always been a physical person. Running in College and doing amateur womens wrestling before she got married. Emma had more energy than most and getting the endorphins pumping through her system again felt wonderful. Even Graham noticed a change, but this may just be as a result to the fact that Emma's need to evolve increased her appetite in the bedroom. More than once, Emma managed to surprise Graham with spontaneous sex on the kitchen table after the kids had all fallen asleep. It surprised both of them at her endurance.


It was on the day when Emma had finally mastered a shoulder machine when she had heard a couple of overly buff, 20 somethings talking about a new form of excersise and tension release. “I swear to God it is totally legal. You just drive up there and cut up shit. Stab what ever you can find.” The guy had a tattoo of a snake rapped around his biscept . His much skinnier partner was straining to push up some weights. Snake biscep continued oblivious to the grunted requested for assistance. Emma stood up and walked over to the due. “So does it work?” Emma asked. Snake bisep stared at her, grunted and said: “Whats a pretty lady like you need stress release? We talking about a guys sport. Don’t think you would have the stomach.” Emma eyed him out, bent over and lifted the weights off his skinny comrade. Snake Biscept started to shift, uncomfortably under her stare. “Why not go ask your man to buy you a treadmill!” “If I had a man, do you think I would be here lifting more weights than your boyfriend here?” Emma couldn’t believe the words had come out her mouth. She had simply slipped into a persona which would get the information she needed. Emma’s stance and posture had even adapted. Perhaps I had missed my calling, Emma thought.
Returning her attention to tweedle dumb and dick-head, Emma asked again.”So where is this place?” Or do I have to arm-wrestle you for it?” She leaned seductively forward. Snake bisept smiled, then shook his head. “Now, I would never think about hurting such a pretty arm.” He stroked her arm and whispered in her ear. “It’s the big house on Boundary Ave. You just show up and ask for Barnes. Just make sure you got enough cash. May be you and me should go up there together. Roll around in the mud and get all dirty. Would you like that pretty lady?” Emma felt his hot breath, then his tongue trace her earlobe. She moved in closer then simply leaned all her weight on the dumbbell his partner had been trying to lift. It slid all the rail and landed squarely on Snake Bisepts foot. Emma jumped back as she heard the small bones crack on impact. Snake Bisept instantly forgot about her. He fell onto his side clutching his shattered foot swearing at his skinny friend. The friend simply stared at Emma. “How did you…?” Was all he could get out before Emma turned and headed toward the ladies changing rooms. Sitting in the bench before her locker, Emma had millions of thought running through her head. What had she done? How had she even managed that? Those weights were at least 150Kg’s. The last question disturbed her the most. Why the hell had she not even hesitated when dropping the weights and shattering his foot. His dumb, self-obsessed, perverted foot. She suddenly knew why she had done it. He was on her list. Not his name, but his breed. The shit-heads who have been gifted with a life which they proceed to abuse, ignore or even use to destroy. Emma could feel her breathing slow again and stood up to leave. She grabbed her bag and headed out. On the way she passed her victim and his side-kick. The gym medic was looking at his foot while he swore at his friend. When the skinny one saw her, she was expecting him to point and tell exactly what had happened. He simply stared at her, with a look of both curiosity and fear. Emma rushed outside, fumbling her car keys. She didn’t feel the cold or even notice that she only wore her t-shirt and sweatpants. Finally she managed to get into her car and start the engine. She reversed without looking and heard muffled horns hooting as she drove out the parking area.

“What the hell is wrong with you”, Emma yelled at herself in the rear view mirror. “I’ve lost my fucking mind.” She drove home in automatic, barely remembering the drive. Emma ran into the house and into her bedroom. Her safe haven. She sat on the bed trembling. Crazy thoughts ran through her head like a scene out of the Twilight Zone. Multi-personality disorder. Schitzophrenia. Hormone imbalance. Demonic possession. All these and more ran through her head. But she knew none quiet fit what had happened to her. How she felt during the episode was what had scared her the most. She felt …… Alive. More alive than she had ever felt in her life. At least in this life, the one she remembered.

When I grow up........

The Good Wife (episode 1)

It was Cold, and she hated the cold. Gripping her coat tighter around her neck, she waved to her boys as they ran into school. Her boys. They were the reason she was going to turn her life up-side down. To save them. She took a deep breath of the freezing air and turned back to her car.
The leaves on the trees in their street had not been given the chance to change from green to orange before they were blown away by chilly winter winds. One morning her family had simply woken up and it was winter. There was no such thing as Autumn or Spring any more these days. Big corporations and oil companies had taken care of that. "Another one to add to the list" Emma thought, trying to keep all three children close to her while crossing to the entrance of their school. The "list" referred to Emma's own personal Waste Of A Life list. It was not an ambitious list. It had local scum on it, such as the local drug lord Jacob Levine, who stalked the local high schools getting the kids while they are young and experimental and setting up clients for life. Emma dreaded the time her three angles would hit puberty and have to deal with the shit she never had to. Growing up in the 80’s was dramaticly different from today. Or so Emma thought, her childhood was a bit sketchy.
McKenzie gave her mom a firm hug and slobbery kiss then ran inside her class greeting her friends with shreaking giggles.
Kyle and Joshua were at the age when kisses where only acceptable if no friends where near by. Both boys gave their mom a quick peck on the cheek and ran off to their group of friends. There was a 13 month age gap between the boys and they had been best friends from the day Kyle was born. Emma nodded to the teachers chatting over coffee and headed for the gate. On her way to the car Emma noticed Stacy in her car talking on her cell phone. She motioned urgently for Emma to join her in her car. Emma jumped into the passengers side and was grateful to feel Stacy's car heater on full blast. She defrosted her icy finger in front of the vent while Stacy finished her conversation. " I understand that it was not the agreement but plans have changed and I need it done. I will pay what ever he wants, please just get it organised." Stacy hung up and turned to face Emma with a frustrated look on her face. "My god babe, you look like Smurfet! You wont believe what happened to me!" as soon as Stacy started a conversation this way, Emma knew she was in for a long story. This one took the cake when it came to Stacy Cooper. It turned out that one of the other moms at the school had mentioned that she had organised a new magician and entire bus-full of entertainment for her daughters birthday party. Stacy was not one to be outdone. She had called the exact same bus entertainment company and had organised the next most expensive thing. "How are we supposed to compete with that!" Stacy said in a exhausted and agitated voice. Emma didn't know she was meant to be competing. "So what are you doing for your boys this year?" Emma was afraid that this would be her next question. "Probably just a small get together. A few of their friends to a movie or something. Haven't planned anything yet." "Oh my god Em, you will never get any venue if you don't book it like today sweety. You want to a few phone numbers? Really sweety, the kids look so forward to these parties. We cant let them down." Emma seriously doubted any of the mothers did the parties for the kids. "Oh sorry Stacy, I would love to stay, but I have to get home. I am having my in-laws round tonight." "Oh shit, I am already late. When are you coming round to my shop so I can sort those split ends out?" Stacy owned a beauty salon in a upmarket mall, which was exactly the kind of job that suited her. She could talk none stop and with constant women around, she could always find a willing ear. "I will make some time later this week." Emma quickly said ciao and jumped out Stacy's car and headed across the parking lot to her own car. Emma had very few friends amongst the mothers of her children's school but she did find Stacy very entertaining. Most of the moms where stay at home or own business owners. But they still seem to have too much time on their hands. If there was any gossip, they all knew it. If there was anything worth talking about, then they would be all over it.
Emma had never been the type of woman to stress about the small shit, so very little of the gossip interested her. She would simply nod and move on, playing the part, adapting to her surroundings like a predator.

Emma climbed in her car and immediately turned on the motor to try and warm up again. The cold, how she hated being cold. She sat in the car, in no rush to leave. She had no where to be in a rush and felt secure in the schools parking lot. It was one of the few places she did feel safe. The school had recently hired a security guard at the front gate of the school. He stood guard as the parents dropped off their precious treasures, the gate was then locked until pick up time again. This extreme precaution had only recently been implemented as a result of a shooting at the near by high school. A young boy in grade 10 had taken a knife to school. It was intended to scare off a local bully and drug pusher. Unfortunately for him, he took a knife to a gun fight. The bully was armed with a small caliber .32 H&R Magnum. The bully was so high when he decided to assault the boy, he didn't even look where he was pointing the gun. He managed to shoot his girlfriend in the arm before raging out, shooting the poor boy with the knife in the head then running. The boy died instantly, and the worst that happened to the girl was that she had a miscarriage. She was 6 months pregnant with the Bully/junkies baby. She is 15. The bully was Jock Boon. An unfortunate name, but one that was on her list none the less.

Like so many, Emma and her husband Graham had discussed just packing up and leaving the country, but this as their home. It has to get better, mustn't it? And graham was eternally the optimist. Living in a bubble which consisted of his wok, his family and nothing else. He was barely aware of what happened in the world let alone their own city. This was the reason for Emma's rash decision. She refused to become a vistim. Just waiting around while their children are preyed on and women are afraid to leave the house alone. She was getting a gun. Nothing too big, just big enough to only have to use it once. She was going to a small place she noticed in the east where they asked no questions and were willing to "forget" the waiting period for the right price.

There's a She-Wolf in the closet
Let her out so it can BREATH.....

My favourite song at the moment. I love the idea that a unknown, powerful and somewhat scary being lives inside each woman